You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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