my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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