He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
