Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
