Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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