Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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