thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
