Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
