I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your penis caused this!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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