but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
