so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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