and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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