i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
