Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
