they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
