if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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