I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
