What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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