My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
