I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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