.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
