is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
