Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
