I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
