going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
