Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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