I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
