Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
