its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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