So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
