why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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