he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
