so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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