Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize