I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Enjoy the penises
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
