Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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