So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
