You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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