She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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