Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
