i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
