I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
