Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
