Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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