So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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