It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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