she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
