can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
