can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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