The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize