I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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