You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
