She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
