I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
