We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Two words: blizzard sex
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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