im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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