There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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