We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's rum buckets o'clock
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
