if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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