everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
