Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
